Leveraged Intelligence

A Visit … To The Barber

Our LBC topic this week is on a Visit or Visitors.  You can read the takes of others on this topic, suggested by Grannymar, by using the links to the Loose Bloggers Consortium members on the left.

Each week we take a single topic tossed in by a member and then we write on it totally independently, posting simultaneously.  This might yield anything from the silly to the sublime.  But, what you can guarantee is that it will be fun and unique!

My idea is to write on the American ritual chore right behind mowing the lawn in regularity and popularity – visiting the barber.  It takes time, it takes money, and often the result isn’t exactly what you were hoping for.

I have found a solution to this that works very nicely for me, thank you very much and I thought I would present it to you in the following video:

Excuse Me … NOT!

Kinman Chan, a 30-year old man from San Francisco, has claimed that he ransacked an airplane bathroom and emerged with his pants down, screaming and then grappled with flight attendants because he had take TWO marijuana cookies rather than his customary ONE marijuana cookie.  It forced the Philadelphia to Los Angeles flight to land in Pittsburgh.

According to a spokesman for the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Pittsburgh, this doesn’t have far reaching implications.

"I think everybody knows that marijuana doesn’t cause this sort of behavior," he said. "I don’t think this guy’s claims are going to have much affect beyond this little story."
Regarding Chan’s medical marijuana cookies, a chuckling Smith adds, "Maybe it was the sugar."

I’m glad, because I just got this prescription filled from my accountant:

Just Play the Hand You Are Dealt

Friday I went for my semi-annual physical.  My numbers were pretty good.  But, I described the last two months of 2009 to my physician and what I experienced from them.  So … he took me to the woodshed …

Let me back up a bit for you.  My father had his first heart attack at the age of 46.  Then in 1984, he had a triple bypass – and the doctors told Mom that his prognosis was probably about five years.  So, he’s already beat them by about twenty-one years and he is cranking along as we speak, mostly because he has followed a strict physical regimen of exercise and diet.  It’s always been more struggle than he would have wished since that heart attack, though.  And, he passed a whole lot of those genes along to me!

Like him, I am determined to hang around as long as possible.  I have a lot that I want to share with my family and friends, a lot that I want to experience and learn – and I’ve really got some questions about how this world will turn out!  Add to that the fact that I didn’t have Carly until I was 40 and would like to watch her and her kids go as far as possible.  Besides, if she feels anything about me like I do my folks, I want to be here for her as long as I can.  I want to be healthy enough to travel to where she is, too, as far as that goes.

So, I am shooting for my nineties with an option to extend the warranty.  That’s why I took all the stern advice my physician gave me on Friday to heart!  He said that with my family inheritance (genes), he already was treating me in the same way that he treats people who have had a heart attack and he wants me to do the same.  So, he told me to control those factors that I can control and control them strictly.  To underline the importance of rest, exercise and diet, he told me that if I find a time constraint where I can’t eat and exercise both during the day – skip eating!  And, if someone requires me to work late hours to make money or keep people in a warehouse in business – go poor and let others find a way to keep going temporarily by other means.  And, last, he told me to keep my emotions under control.  To stay calm.

These are all things I can and will do.  And, I add another healthy hand to this, dealt to me by Maynardo the Magnificent:

I’ve got to see how these characters grow up.

As Ramana would say, “Thathaasthu.”  Or, as we would say in America – Amen to that Brother!

Groundhog Day!

Every year on February 2nd, in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, a groundhog named Phil is taken from his den to see if he sees his shadow.  If he does, there will be six more weeks of winter – although, a grey day would seem to indicate that to me, but .. – and this is obviously important to our people, our agriculture, our economy, etc.  Well, I had heard that the original Phil died last year or the year before.  So, they put in a new groundhog.

I couldn’t get a clear picture, but I think I may recognize this groundhog in PA …

Gentle Humor: Frank and Ernest

One of the beauties of ripening like a fine wine – also known as aging – is the growing appreciation of gentle intelligence.  We have spoken a bit about religion and Christianity lately, but I think it is in the small everyday things that we find peace accomplished, not just in the sanctuary.

Gentle humor isn’t a bad place to start.  Some think that humor must be cutting to be intelligent.  They would miss the intelligence of a Johnny Carson.  And … they would miss the quiet gentle humor of a Thaves.

The Perfect Life

This piece is part of the Loose Blogger’s Consortium series that appears on Fridays.  And, these are a blast.  This topic really was a stumper, Ramana Rajgopaul!

You can find the other members’ names – and they will be tackling this same subject – on the left.

As I write this, there are approximately 6,980,353,928 answers to the question, “What is a perfect life?”  Everyone is born with different circumstances, different abilities and different challenges.  We try to approach the question through so many of our disciplines, to give guidance that all can follow even though each fulfills unique values in life. So, let’s look at three sources.

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Matthew 5:48 – Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. – From Christ’s Sermon on the Mount

The above picture is Bloch’s painting of The Sermon on the Mount

The Sermon on the Mount is the core teaching of Christ’s ministry.  Even for those quite opposed to religion, it is worth reading, as it would seem to be the most succinct guideline to “perfection” from Christ’s pronouncements.  It might also make you wonder how we derived the Christian religion as practiced after you have read it.  It is in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapters 5, 6 and 7.

It is the realization of how far short that we fall that most Christians take as our lot in life and that only through the salvation of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross that we can gain entry to what would be called a perfect life.  However, this seems to me to, in part, be an avoidance of a direct commandment from Christ to His followers.

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Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu – chapter 16

The following is a translation by Jane English with Gia-Fu Feng.

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.
The way of nature is unchanging.
Knowing constancy is insight.
Not knowing constancy leads to disaster.
Knowing constancy, the mind is open.
With an open mind, you will be openhearted.
Being openhearted, you will act royally.
Being royal, you will attain the divine.
Being divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away.

I’ve always liked the Tao Te Ching.

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The Perfect Height

The best, however, I save for last,  insight that came from a very unexpected source.   When my uncle, my father’s brother lost over Germany in World War II – my namesake – was in high school, he was asked by an older woman how tall he was.  When he answered, “Six feet tall,” she had to correct him.  “Oh no, dear.” she said, “Only our Lord Jesus was exactly six feet tall.”

From this, we can see that we have ONE truly objective measure of perfection in life – you must be precisely six feet in height.  I assume this is true for women also.  It is also clear that anyone currently taller than six feet, unless they were momentarily perfect, discretely jumped from five feet eleven+++ inches to six feet zero+++ inches skipping over the perfect height.  Alternately, you must assume not only that they were temporarily perfect, they were actually Jesus momentarily, which seems unlikely.  However, God does work in mysterious ways.

Somehow, I find this last definition of perfection to be the best I have ever heard.

Debate and Politicians

Remember the old High School letter I showed you eons ago.  The beauty of growing up in a small town is that you don’t have to be particularly gifted to letter in a sport – therefore, I lettered.  But, sports weren’t the only things for which you could be recognized  (it was a school after all and there was SOME emphasis on academics).  It was also possible to get medals for scholarship and debate, among other things:

Now, if you look at little closer at that debate medal:

You’ll see exactly how we looked!  Long tails, hands to hip and held high in dramatic emphasis, point made, point won!  Well, we didn’t look exactly like that, but it is a cool image.

I took debate my Senior year and thus was only a novice debater.  It was a fascinating thing to do, really.  Debate tournaments have something like six debates you give in a day – I think it was six, or was that tennis matches for a tennis tournament?  Each alternating debate throughout the day required that a debate team take the opposite side of the argument.  In other words, first debate, pro; second debate, con; third, pro and on and on.  Two debaters on each team presenting arguments and rebuttals.

One of the first things you learned was how far from any absolute truth a position can be.  After all, if that were the case, you would be required to tell the truth, then lie, then truth, etc.   Instead, you spent time researching topics and writing arguments and quotes on note cards.  Then, as the opponent brought up points, you refuted them with your own evidence.  It made it more difficult for me to see the world in absolutes and black and white.  It also made it more difficult for me to accept carte blanche the statements of politicians, for when they use statistics or show evidence, I remember those tournaments.

At one point, my novice Senior self, coupled with my novice Senior partner were scheduled against the best debaters from one of the other schools in the tournament.  We were going to get our butts kicked.  Except … I was probably wandering lost or something or just got to the room early … who knows?  The woman who was the judge for the debate was also in the room and we struck up a conversation.  We talked about how she was enjoying the tournament … and her kids … and my family … and WHAT SHE ADMIRED MOST IN THE DEBATES SHE HAD ALREADY JUDGED!  The Motherlode!!!

She warmed to the task and told me all about how the debaters that looked her right in the eye and did this and did that she found the most persuasive.  When the other debaters arrived and we began … I looked her right in the eye … and I did this … and I did that.  She even smiled when I made one point!

To everyone’s amazement, when the tallying was happening, I was given the points as the top debater, the other team took rankings two and three, and my partner took ranking four.  And – she gave the debate to our team based upon my stellar performance.

Their team and their coach protested, for this debate cost their team the tournament.  Their coach said I had cheated!  He didn’t know how, but he knew I had cheated.  But, the judge stuck with her ratings and that was that.

That is why I watch for devices in politicians’ speeches, devices designed to override content; but it’s also why I still admire the skill of a great speech.  Churchill and FDR could mobilize nations to greatness while Hitler mobilized a nation to evil.  The key is to not fall into the trap that judge did; to listen to content and meaning, looking for substance, not the manner of presentation.

Don’t make the countering mistake, either.  Don’t think that the honed  skill of a speaker automatically indicates deceit or lack of real meaning.  We have also had great leaders who were extremely charismatic and quite accomplished at the podium.

Last, don’t make the mistake of taking one argument, good or bad, as an indication of the quality of the next argument.  Every point must stand or fall on its own merit.

Winning the Lottery and the Segue(way) to Kansas

I told my wife that if we win the lottery, I intend to get a Segway.  So, since I intend to win the lottery, I thought it time to start making plans.

First, if I get a Segway, obviously I want to travel with it.  Otherwise, what is the point, right?  It is well that I do the planning ahead of time, because, like all worthwhile endeavors, this one takes a little consideration.

Second, what is possible?  Anything, with enough perseverance, right?  A Segway will give you a top-end speed of 12.5 mph – just over 20 kph for those of you that live in mathematically sane countries – and they will give you this speed for 25 miles (approx 40 kilometers), then they take from 8 to 10 hours to recharge.  To make the calculations easiest on ourselves, let’s assume the worst and assume 10 hrs per recharge.  That means, we can do 25 miles per 12-hour period, or 50 miles per day.

Since my parents live in Kansas and I live in California, we are separated by 1750 miles of road travel.  If my calculations are correct, that means that I can reach them in 35 days.  Of course, that assumes that I am able to recharge each 25 miles, so I’d better buy an RV with a generator and an outlet to follow me.  My wife refuses to drive the RV, so I better hire a driver … paid on a 24-hour basis.  Maynard is busy with the baby, so I am going to need to ship Ramana over here.

Not all locations allow Segways on the road, so I will also need to get an off-road version.  Also, police along the way will be wanting to stop me, so I will need to bring enough cash for bribes and fines.

I am assuming that going off-road in Nevada and Utah will probably run me into a snake or two, so I should bring anti-venin, perhaps a nurse.

Since I will need to go during the summer, it will be stormy.  I will just have to live with that, I think, because once you start a trip like this, you shouldn’t turn back.  That will mean that I should have some kind of smaller vehicle that can run alongside me with a canopy of some kind for protection.  Of course, that will mean another driver.

So, the question is: should I bring $250,000 or do you think I need to be thinking more like a half-mil?  Other than that, I think the plan is complete – and very sound, if I do say so myself.

Stop Wobbling, Dammit

Lin Chi Zen Master once said, "When walking, just walk. When sitting, just sit. But above all don’t wobble!"

Now, let’s look at the two boys from our recent drama:

Just walking.

Just sitting.

Hmmm… not enough.

Ahhhh…. Zen Mastery.

Doubts and Regrets

It is common to think that all lives are filled with doubts and regrets; for to err is human, to come to terms with oneself is to experience remorse for one’s actions, and too much is always unknown.  Outside of religious faith, I had not become acquainted with anyone solidly asserting otherwise until I read in one of the Castaneda books that one of Don Juan’s teachings regarding the warrior’s path was to live WITHOUT doubts and regrets!  I was intrigued, but could never quite resolve in my mind what it meant until …

During this phase of my life, I was doing a lot of meditation as well as having the adventures that make my mother cringe.  Indeed, from the meditation itself many things emerged which were marvelous adventures in their own right; but this is a story of meditation’s good buddy, dreaming.

In the dream, I found myself sitting in the lotus position in what appeared to be an apartment in a high-rise building in the city.  I was gazing peacefully out through a sliding glass door onto a balcony without rails, more like a ledge, that parted in something of a U shape from both sides of the door.  Then I noticed something very interesting …

Emanating from me in two lines which headed toward the balcony were strings of the number two’s.  I sat in puzzlement, for I knew this had meaning, for it was one of THOSE dreams.  Maybe you’ve had them.  A dream filled with meaning, vivid, more real than the waking world you came from.  Between meditation and dreaming, it is hard to tell how long I observed these two long lines, the duality that held me in stasis.

Suddenly, without warning …

A man came dancing gaily past me, executing a light-footed jig as he went, obviously enjoying life to the hilt.  As he went forward, I noticed that the number one’s continuously and dynamically appeared in a string before him – and that every one of his hopping, dancing, seemingly random steps landed squarely and lightly on a number one.  He never missed, never guessed, never lost balance.

And the numbers unfolded before him and went right over the edge of the ledge!!!  I watched him go right off the precipice, falling to his obvious death, yelling as he went.  But, I noticed something a bit odd.  His yell was not a yell of fear.  It wasn’t even good acting and obviously not intended to be.  It was that kind of mock fear sound you make when you are poking fun at someone!

He popped right back up on that ledge, doing a kind of yell in reverse and laughing at the same time.  The one’s started unfolding before him once again.  And, as he danced his jig back past me, he leaned over to say …

… I changed my mind!

That dream is reported as I experienced it and it has been my internal reference on the question since.

This piece is part of the continuing Blogger’s Consortium series with simultaneous posts on the topic being done by Anu, Ashok, gaelikaa, Ginger, Grannymar, Helen, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria and Ramana – give or take a few!