Moth… or Flame?
Some go through life, flitting from one thing to the next, searching, questing, trying to find satisfaction, trying to find answers. So much has bright and shiny promise. A new car, a new job, a new diet, a new relationship. It’s not that they aren’t happy. They are a kind of vagabond, ever drawn.
Sound familiar? Sound a bit attractive. In fact, do many things sound attractive, intriguing – yet never quite fulfilling? Then you are living as a moth, floating on the breeze, flitting around until that shiny flame draws you in. Maybe not in a healthy way, I might add. Drawn in as a victim sometimes, for we know what happens to that moth if it ever actually reaches its destination.
Is that how it has to be? No, but for some it is how it always will be, always at the mercy of the attractant, never in command. Working for others, for goals they set. Joining a party and believing their every word, for you seek the truth from outside. Validating themselves by the approval from others.
Find the right niche and this can actually be a good thing, for this is a world that needs moths as much as any other aspect of creation. 
But, for some, they can only be the flame, the source, always viewing the world as emanating from their joys, their choices, their enthusiasm. It doesn’t matter how others see a situation, the flames are seeing the world illuminated by their own light, warmed by their own heat.
These can be solitary people, even in the midst of the hordes. They quite frankly are not AGAINST other people’s ideas, they just don’t always concern themselves with them. Your likes or dislikes of their view is simply not a priority. They live for the creation, for the passion.
At one extreme, they consume themselves too quickly, sleeping too little, asking too much of their bodies and minds until they drop, spent. At the other extreme, they lose enthusiasm, simply flickering out in depression or ennui. But, balanced, they can be a persistent and welcome force for good.
In the next post, this idea of opposing natures and forces will take on a bit more Eastern flavor as we look instead at more interweaving elements. But, for now consider this question: which mode more closely represents your life, the mode of the moth or the mode of the flame?
When visiting my daughter this past weekend, I sent you all a comment via my Blackberry phone:
Case in point: I flew to San Diego this AM to spend a weekend with my daughter on SD State campus. Rick Sanchez of CNN requested some eyewitness accounts of the Santa Barbara fires, so I sent a description of what I saw from the air flying over. When we ate lunch on campus, there my description showed up on the TV screen.
I am sitting next to a turtle pond as I type this. I have not been near a computer all day. This is from my phone!
This could have been done as a moth or as a flame. If it had been the moth, it would have meant that I was so drawn to that technology that I had to check that Blackberry, had to know what people were saying. At that point, it really is the addictive Crackberry. Then, I would need to compete to see if I could get my comment on TV. Next I would need to tell you about it. And, last, but hardly least, I would have to check in whatever way possible to see if you approved.
The flame would check his Blackberry if he chose because he wanted to see how his business customers were doing and see if there was anything of interest to him there. Finding something of interest and nothing of urgency, he would respond just for the joy of doing something he found interesting and possibly of use. Then, when it appeared on the TV, it would be a matter of humor, a feeling of bemusement that such a logical-technological chain existed. And, then, as a matter of bemused wonder, sitting by a turtle pond, he would simply put a message on his own blog for his readers for no better reason than to complete a point that he chose. And, then, he would probably just put that Blackberry away for the weekend.
What do you think? From the outside, they might look the same. But, which way would you rather be, the moth or the flame?
And, the flame says:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways –
Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other –
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’
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Tags: Choices, Flame, Moth, People
In Jean’s post http://cheerfulmonk.com/2009/04/27/my-role-model-for-change/ I had commented that I reserve the right to call myself a butterfly. Okay, here we are talking about moths, but as ephemeral as the butterfly, the caterpillar or the flame. Subsequently, I have been musing about it as I am wont to and have decided that I would rather be an alley cat. Homeless, carefree, taking my pleasure where and as it comes. A pipe dream. Conrad, we are nitwits trying to be something other than what we are destined to be. The longer I live, the more I am convinced that we have no control whatsoever with our lives. I have decided therefore to let events unfold, and face each day as it presents itself to me, to the best of my ability and sleep peacefully.
rummuser’s last blog post..Speed Control.
Sorry Conrad, Rummy’s blog has my attention!
Having experienced both, I’d have to say I aspire to be the flame. I find a certain serenity in that.
Ramana, I think that in the usual sense of control you are quite right. However, I think there are deeper layers in the onion of this mystery we call life. I suspect that we have more layers to share yet between us.
Maynardo, you have seen Ramana’s light and now you leave me. Ah, but we had some good times together…
Viki, it’s a pretty limiting metaphor that doesn’t really unfold enough of life’s complexity. Still, I presented it for that very reason, to intentionally oversimplify. And, yes, given the stark choice between these two realities, the flame is more peaceful for me, too.
I believe that would be the “moth” in me. Since my father died when I was 7 years old, I have been flitting around ever since. I really missed not having a father. When I graduated from college, I had no one to give me direction, thus I’m still going around in circles! Sorry for getting so personal, I will go back to Rummy’s blog now!
Neither a flutterer or a flicker me
content to sit upon your knee,
I’ll watch your fingers nimbly tap
to send the word out through the map,
To places far and wide from thee
with lessons for all including me!
Grannymar’s last blog post..Thursday Special ~ Dear Old Dear
Maynard, never apologize for being so personal. Never! What you just wrote took a huge amount of courage and generosity and I thank you for the sharing.
The age you lost your father sounds like such a difficult age, such an important formative age. What a tough hand to be dealt and I could see exactly the result you describe coming from it. But, what has always distinguished you in my eyes is your absolutely sterling heart! There is a reason your classmates have always loved you so deeply. It has always been what has emanated from you.
I would make a guess that the only real way to compensate for the loss of your father is to relocate your essence and your values with your current family. As you live out fatherhood for your son, Tyler, you create within that bond what you were denied in your own early years. You define that father’s focus you lost – and you are reborn and renewed in the process.
Grannymar, you will ever have the free spirit of the poet. What a delight when you visit.
Ouch! I don’t wanna be a moth. My husband is a definite flame. He doesn’t have opinions–sees both sides. BTW his father died when he was 8. (His mother died at 96, having never re-married.)
I’m glad Conrad is a flame.
Grannymar’s an exceptional gal
The poetry she does, you wonder how
ToyBoys, she has many
Even tho’ she’s a Granny
I married my husband because he’s a flame…no doubt about it. At the time I was still developing my inner core, but it was just a matter of time because the commitment was there. See Building a Solid Foundation.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monk’s last blog post..I’ve Been Thinking…
For an unusual example of a flame go to rummuser’s latest post with a link to a video about “bikini bandits”. That gal could not care less about what other people think and say.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monk’s last blog post..I’ve Been Thinking…
Conrad, thank you. That was my very first attempt at poetry!
@bikehikebabe. I am Grannymar in name only, a title conferred on me in my mid twenties and the name stuck. Who knows, someday I may have the privilege of being a real granny!
Grannymar’s last blog post..Thursday Special ~ Dear Old Dear
Wow, Grannymar! You should go back to that well again!
I know, Jean. I could tell she was a flame by the added warmth I felt.
bikehikebabe, I feel real compassion for your husband like I do for Maynard. But, it is the compassion of trying to imagine the effects. Between you and Jean, I think you are exactly on target that the way to settle the flightiness down is to develop your inner core. It leaves you with a great security and confidence.
On reflection, I do not mind being the flame for some, if any would have me!
rummuser’s last blog post..Innovative Apparel Making.
rummuser,
I still think that caterpillar is cuter.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monk’s last blog post..I’ve Been Thinking…
Well yes, Caterpillar is adorable. But rummuser is too. You be my flame, Rummy?
See Caterpillar’s pic. below:
http://cheerfulmonk.com/2009/04/27/my-role-model-for-change/
(You’ll have to copy & paste–I’m no computer genius like Jean, Conrad & Ramana.)
Done bikehikebabe. Thine wish is now mine command. Let me borrow and say, “come into my parlour.”
rummuser’s last blog post..Pakistan India And The Taliban.