Re-Inventing the American Dream
America, like the rest of the world, is very challenged right now. We find the legendary American Dream in serious jeopardy, in danger of becoming historical artifact. Worse, our attempts to return to former prosperity is fraught with perils, somewhat along the lines of the above cartoon. At times, the solution is worse than the problem!
Unfortunately, we have allowed these concerns all too often to throw us into so many considerations that we are suffering paralysis by analysis, over thinking every step, afraid to step off the curb. We need to return to the way of thought that has made this country vital and progressive, the hope of humanity – legends in our own minds! We are first and foremost creative thinkers and inventors and the best of innovation has not come from corporate conglomerates, it has come from the people.
I now give you the path back to the future! No group shows creativity exceeding the American Redneck. And, no one is closer to the roots of the grass. Here is the true hope of human growth, beginning with the solution to the problems of the auto industry. Just this morning, GM was removed from the DOW blue chip stocks as it went into bankruptcy and restructuring. Far too many of their offerings are of behemoths no one can afford. Still, merely copying foreign competitors will never solve anything. It is time for innovation, so I unveil for you the REDNECK CAMPER! This is the future shown to the American Automaker.
All too often, accessories in vehicles, like defrosters in cold climates, come at a price no American can any longer afford. I give you the inventive REDNECK DEFROSTER as a simple inexpensive solution anyone can implement.
Recreation for years has been NASCAR, Indy 500, Grand Prix. Enough of this environmental destruction and waste of good money. Besides, we have become such a nation of watchers, not participants, one of the big sources of obesity. As a solution to both, I offer you the joy of REDNECK COOLER races:
Part of the major expense of American vehicles to purchasers has been the expense of transport from manufacturing to consumer. Well, this has become so institutionalized that we don’t even consider obvious, viable alternatives like the REDNECK MOTORCYCLE TRANSPORTER.
As we learned from Katrina, those who await government protection and aid after a natural disaster are just looking to compound their problems. Take the initiative! You too can be safe in any catastrophic flood with the REDNECK SWAMP BUGGY!
After all these problems are solved, Americans need to take time to work on relationships. Traveling together to destinations never before seen is a marvelous pastime in this gorgeous landscape of wonder. And there is no better way to share the fresh air and beautiful countryside than bringing your mate with you with the REDNECK SIDECAR attached to your bike.
Then the time comes to return home for a little peace and quiet. Americans have always loved their couches, but, again – they can become boring, ordinary, stultifying. You can so simply upgrade them to the REDNECK TREE SWING. Tiki torch is a nice touch, don’t you think?
It has also come to my attention via the radio that we have just opened our first Wal-Mart in India! This is such a great move forward for our trade deficit, for now goods can go directly from China to India without that bothersome trip across the ocean. Still, no one is seeing the bigger picture. We can endear ourselves to the Indians even further by demonstrating our frugality. That Wal-Mart in India can become the new REDNECK AMERICAN EMBASSY!
And…here is a special submission from India by Ramana Rajgopaul:
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Tags: America, Humor, Inventions, People, Redneck
I am RECYCLE QUEEN OF THE WORLD
I’m Recycle of the World. I always thought I’d made a splendid Pioneer but now I declare myself a Redneck. Having been brought up a proper lady I mustn’t let people know this–no couch swings.
But I do my part. I recycle all water. How many of you put your sm. amt. of bath water into 16 of gal. milk cartons, your husband having had the 1st bath, rinsing with a cup, & put it outside on the plants?
Do you pee/flush, pee/flush etc. or pee in something else & fertilize the native no-water yard with that? Do you cut your paper napkins in half & use them later for toilet paper? NEVER use your dryer? Walk in the dark to save electricity?
Ride your bike 75 miles round trip to get thread on sale rather than take the car?
SHAPE UP AMERICA!
(That RECYCLE QUEEN OF THE WORLD sign by my name was a mistake. I tried to delete it & it got rid of my whole message which I had to do over, but worth the message.)
Conrad -
That was laugh out loud funny! You have outdone yourself with that one but my favoriate had to be the window defrosters.
bikehikebabe, don’t you think that bike of yours could use a sidecar???
Mom sent all these to me. She’s got some great sources!!
Now, I’m waiting to see where Gail will carry those kangaroos…
When I say “ride my bike” I mean bicycle. Rednecks call their motorcycles, bikes also.
You will all see my bike tomorrow! I will be able to cycle to Wal-Mart in India.
I want a tree swing!
Grannymar’s last blog post..Food Monday ~ More Salads
bikehikebabe, I know you mean bicycle. I just think a lawn chair on wheels attached to the side of it would be so nice for your husband to ride in!!
Grannymar, we ALL want one of those tree swings! The Tiki Torch would just be a bonus.
I hear those tree swings are particularly nice after it has rained!
Grannymar, When you ride your bike to Wal-Mart in India you will be on a narrow bumpy road with THIS crossing in front of you:
Stray dogs, cows, camels, tons of pedestrians, bicycles loaded with enough to fill a pick-up truck, crowded old buses, carts overflowing with brightly clothed Indians, motorcycles, 3 wheeled cars???, regular small cars all honking at once.
There are NO traffic rules. But no accidents because Indians are extremely skilled at maneuvering in traffic like this. You’ll never make it!
My 1913 Webster’s New International Dictionary did not have the word “redneck” in it. I don’t understand, it’s new! Oh well, I will wait for Conrad’s next blog, I’m going out to feed my roos.
I guess you don’t have rednecks in Australia. I’ll send my sister-in-law an email & ask. They lived there 6 years.
I do know that if there are 2 or more people together with nothing to do, there’ll be a race of some sorts. And I still have a bag of Vegemite packets left–bad tasting salty stuff.
The Indian equivalent of the American Redneck is no less adventurous. He is also a biker. He does not need side cars of any kind. His wife usually serves as his luggage carrier. He will go to Walmart only if they will let him enter with his motorcyle. He will otherwise shop at the roadside mobile shop without getting down from the motorcycle and without switching off the engine. He even rides his motorcycle right inside his home so that in the night, when he is sleeping, it does not get stolen as, he does not usually have a garage. Just see how happy he is!
rummuser’s last blog post..Playboy;Virgin;Civil Servant; Erotica and the Adventurous British.
Sure, we all make fun of the American Redneck…him being “low class” and all. Maybe it is just packaging. I am thinking they are having good fun just like the highbrows here in Minneapolis do every summer with their milk carton boat races…boats made of milk cartons!!–surely a redneck event. Far far from it, I think the Junior League sponsors it…an organization full of tight-$#$ women with manicures and Nancy Pelosi hair styles.
It’s Packaging…and maybe PR.
I do think a gallon of paint here and there would work wonders, however.
GL Hoffman’s last blog post..Can Charity Events be Questionable?
Here’s from my sister-in-law about “rednecks” in Australia:
I don’t ever remember anyone being referred to as “redneck”. In the outback they tended to use the generic female term “Sheila” and a male would be referred to as “bloke” or “mate”.
I also don’t remember an Australian referring to a kangaroo as a “roo” – only Americans said that. It was also Americans who worried that the kangaroo population was being decimated. The Australians asked us to let people know back here (the US) that there were plenty of kangaroos. In fact they were having to cull the herds to keep the populations down – similar to what we do here with the deer.
Cynthia, I can send you some more vegemite if you like. It is pretty easy to find here in the states now. Maybe I could get you a case for Christmas!
Candy
Gail, You call your kangaroos- roos because you lived in America before you moved to Australia. I believe you!
Hey GL, Having been raised a proper lady my mother made me join the “tight-$#$ women with manicures and Nancy Pelosi hair styles” Junior League.
Luckily when I got married & moved here, our town was too small to have a Junior League. Saved me a lot of “tight-$#$” work!!!
GL, you may misunderstand where I’m coming from on this. A good part of my family fits nicely in this package. This piece is done with some good-humored admiration and if you read between the lines, I think this really is some of the base for the good American entrepreneurial spirit. Note the comments seeded in about paralysis by analysis, etc. I just think that some of the execution in these cases are hilarious! But, a lot of it would work.
Now, what was that comment about Nancy Pelosi hair styles supposed to mean? LOL I do believe Elvis has left Switzerland!! Good. It’s fun out here.
There is a very “practical” side to a certain group of people that are, quite often, some of the happiest and most carefree on Earth. They could care less about appearance. They just want to giterdun!
Ask if you need a translation of giterdun, but it may have made its way to India!
Webster never heard of giterdun & I haven’t either.
Giterdun is Larry the Cable Guy’s version of Get Her Done, which means just do it. Your windows need defrosting, you have no money, but you have some left over flexible duct and some duct tape in the garage – GITERDUN!!
In college, we used to call it creative poverty.
Gail is Australian but she calls her kangaroos–roos to act like an American which most of us are. rummuser under his skin is really an Englishman tho’ he claims he’s Indian.
Good oil! Let’s go have an “amber fluid”!
I like the idea of recycling stuff. Someone once called me “a huge psycho-Nazi bitch”, which I think is a good way of recycling words.
This person felt that I had Kangaroos loose in the top paddock!
Dictionary: amber fluid
amber fluid – 1 definition – Australian slang for beer.
Australian’s talk funny.
We also have plaid shirts and red-necks in Canada. One who has had a successful television career out of, well, junk and a whole lot of creativity with some tongue tucked firmly in cheek!
For those who like this sort of thing, I present: http://www.redgreen.com
Marianna’s last blog post..Safe to Work
Rummy, I love that picture, there is still room for one more on the handlebars. It reminds me of my years in Africa. All vehicles are always over crowed there(inside and on top) . Our trips on the bus– potty break, the men would get out and go on one side of the bus and the women would go on the other side. If you got caught peeking you had to walk. ( just kidding) Gail, roos were not allowed!!!!! Chickens were !
Bike—babe, you would probably make me drink with the flies!
Hmm – strange happenings. I left a comment that didn’t “take.”
We, too, have our own plaid-shirt wearing, red-necked people. One famous and very creative one has managed to make a successful television career out of it!
http://www.redgreen.com/
If that is your thing, of course.
Marianna’s last blog post..Safe to Work
Marianna, so sorry!! You were stuck in Spam land!
I have no idea why my spam filter picked you off.