A Serious, Sad Event in Kansas…
There is an article in the SF Chronicle this morning on the killing of Dr. George Tiller, late term abortion provider in Wichita, KS one week ago. It deals with the impact of incendiary speech and is worthy of examination. Whether your views are from the Right, Left or Center, incendiary rhetoric does not help. It may sell soap, but it does not help.
What does help is sincere reflection, especially from those closest to the problem. My mother and I were discussing this on the phone a couple of days ago and she related to me a story that you really must read. It is very relevant, very powerful, very personal. It has a lot of heart. But, what it is not is an effort to sell soap and especially not to be incendiary. Her effort at reflective balance is laudable and moving and I give it to you unedited, in her words:
The year was 1945; springtime; I had just turned 14; and, had been a junior in high school until I refused to cut my hair so I could take swimming. My mother told me that if I didn’t go to school, I had to find some kind of job; so, I was baby sitting to pay for small necessities until I could convince someone that I was 16 so I could get a good job and earn maybe ten to twelve dollars a week…..woo-hoo! The war was starting to wind down and many of the soldiers and sailors were returning home to their families. Having learned so much the first semester of that year, or so I thought, and refusing to get my hair cut (my really FIRST REAL REVOLT) taught me many things. Some good and some really bad.
Being independent was always a failure of mine. Many things came to me very easily…..some things were lessons that were forced on an innocent kid and really hard to accept. As most of you are aware of, this has been a very bad time in Kansas as far as history is concerned. The killing of Doctor George Tiller was a heinous crime committed by a person that is mentally unstable (according to our news media back here) and should have been locked up for things he did many years ago. He had no reason to kill Dr. Tiller other than the fact that he ran an abortion clinic that performed late term abortions (something that is legal here). Dr. Tiller had just been cleared in court for 19 charges brought against him by an Anti-Abortion group. I’ll not name names but these people have been against Dr. Tiller for many years. Back in the 1990’s someone shot the doctor in both arms as he went to get into his car. After that, he would hire off duty police officers to escort him whenever he went out (to his clinic, church, etc.) but having been acquitted of any illegal activity he thought that escorts were no long necessary…..especially to church where he was an usher and where he was shot (as witnessed by two other ushers that were threatened with the weapon used to kill the doctor). I am not a fan of abortion and cannot fathom the idea of having one and I feel that the real leader of the group has blood on his hands (even though the nut case that committed the crime was not a true member of the group just a wannabee I guess). The man killed Tiller; got into his car; and, headed for his home which was a town close to Kansas City. He was arrested in Gardner, KS and offered no resistance. He is being held in the Wichita jail and his bail is very, very large……in the millions of dollars.
When I was 14 years old, I had no idea what an abortion was. We did not have subjects such as sex education in Health or even the notorious 5th grade Health classes that explained how little girls became women. What we learned, we learned from our mothers and mine did not choose to talk about sex except to say that it was not something that GOOD GIRLS DID until they were married……kinda’ like the Rusty Warren record where the mother is standing on the curb after the wedding yelling, "You can do it now." Times were different then but some girls, and women too, did it and got pregnant. Some girls, and women too, did not want to have a baby or marry the boy, or man, that had made them that way……..no matter, the law said that you either made the male marry the female; send the girl away to the mountains (or desert) for nine months for her health and put the baby up for adoption; or, maybe the girl and her mother would both go away for the mother’s health and come back with a "baby brother or sister" for the girl and it would be reared as a sibling for her. That way there would be no disgrace for the family and they could all go merrily on their way and be a supposedly happy family (even so, some of these families didn’t look very happy and many people whispered behind their backs). ABORTION WAS AGAINST THE LAW and the only way to have one was not very pleasant.
Now you are thinking, Good Lord, did she get pregnant and have an abortion? No, I didn’t but the woman that I baby sat for did. Her husband had been gone for some time (maybe doing the same things she had done, I don’t know) and was coming home so what was she to do but what she felt she had to do……break the law and have an illegal abortion (remember this was before the Roe Vs. Wade law was passed). She asked me if I would go with her to the doctor and sit in the car with her kids while she had a checkup. I said OK and did just that. I did make some remarks about the grungy part of town we were in and that he must not be a very rich doctor to have his office down there. It didn’t take him very long to do whatever he did to her and she came back out and told me that if she got sick that I should drive the car on home and make sure the kids were OK. I told her that I couldn’t drive and she said that she thought I wouldn’t have any problem because I was a smart girl and had surely watched while other people drove. I looked down at her car seat and it was turning red and I asked her what kind of checkup she had had (I knew that I had a problem on my hands but didn’t know what it was). She said just a female thing and it caused women to bleed sometimes and that she wanted me to be sure to see to the kids and make sure that they had their supper; baths; and, were put to bed before I went home. I assured her that I would and I did but after performing my chores I checked on her and she looked like she was going to die (which scared me a lot). We didn’t live very far apart so I took off for home and told the woman that I was staying with what had happened and why I was so late getting home. She went over to the other house and after walking up one side of the woman and down the other, took her to the hospital where she stayed for several days. I stayed with the kids during that time because she had no relatives in the area (when my mother found out what I was doing, she went ballistic as only she could and laid down some laws as to what I could and could not do as far as working was concerned). It is a period of my life that I would just as soon forget but it also shows what happens when laws are made that cannot be enforced. If they reverse the Roe vs. Wade law, this type of thing will happen more and more only some women and girls won’t even go to quack doctors for an abortion, they will rely on clothes hangers or turkey feathers like they did back in the good old days…..and a lot of them will die like they did in the good old days.
As I said before, I am for women’s choice. I do not think you can legislate morality and we have no place to treat the mentally ill (unless they have committed a criminal act such as rape or murder). My husband and I had no trouble getting me pregnant but I had one pregnancy that was easy and one that was hard from the night I conceived her (my husband had made a pact with a friend that if he found his wife to be pregnant to let him know and we would have kids the same time). We had our daughters two weeks apart so you can see that we had no trouble at that time. Troubles developed in the first trimester and I spent a lot of time in bed; threw up most of the time; and, took meds to keep me from aborting which has caused problems for our daughter but during that hard period, there was never a thought in our minds about not carrying that beautiful little baby to full term. In my opinion, it should be every woman’s choice because I could not have any more children after I had her and we would have missed out on a lot of joy (and headaches) had we not had her. Nobody has angels…..even in the good old days.
Corky
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Tags: Abortion, Corky, Dr. Tiller, Kansas, Murder, Rhetoric
Wow Corky–powerful words. I agree about free choice. With that must come a right to abortion.
It’s unfair that there are sooo many single women parents, the fathers feeling no obligation to help support the baby. DNA & lawyers help, but it’s a complicated process & young pregnant girls don’t deal with it. The tax paying public is left with the cost. And there’s the cost to the child growing up without a father.
Hear – Hear! Like you, Corky, I don’t think I could ever have had an abortion but I never wanted that option taken off the table. Until you have walked in those shoes, you don’t know what you would do!
Raising a child alone must be a very hard, lonely life – seems as though we could pass legislation forcing financial help from the scott-free fathers!
Thanks for sharing – very powerful story!
Bikehikebabe and Deb,
Thanks for the support. I could never imagine what it would be like to even try to rear my two children without Joe to take over when I was doing some of the stupid things that I tried. I was some younger than Joe and I know sometimes it must have seemed like he had three kids but after the doctor told us no more children for me he made it quite clear that we would have no more…..that I would just have to wait for grandkids and boy have I enjoyed them. I am a strong supporter of the woman having the choice. If men had the babies, there would only be one in each family, that’s for sure.
Corky
I never needed to think about or travel the road of abortion.
In Ireland it is not legal and the Irish Government turned a blind eye to the women who for years went to England to avail of abortion clinics over there.
The part of choice that I am unhappy about is the number of women nowadays who choose to buy a baby by the syringe method, in order to willingly bring up the child alone with total disregard for the father or the part he might play in that child’s life.
Now I am off to the cave to cool down!!!
Grannymar’s last blog post..Food Monday ~ No Cook Fudge Fingers
Grannymar,
I am with you on this one. There are too many fatherless (or motherless) children in the world. It was a sad thing that people had to wait for three days for a marriage license so they could be blood checked for syphilis……in the “good old days”…..Before long they will have to have their DNA checked or there will be a lot of in-breeding and we have no place to treat the mentally ill
that are running around killing people now. I know that you know all this but some things just bother me.
Have a good day,
Corky
In India, abortion is legal and there are no religious groups opposing abortions. The back alley kind of operations that used to take place before India adopted family planning and passed the necessary legislation making abortion legal as part of the family planning process, are almost extinct except in perhaps rural India. All news papers carry advertisements for clinics that specialize in abortions.
From a man’s perceptive, I can assure you that I find what happened to Dr. Tiller abhorrent on both occasions. The fringe elements in all religions do funny things, and indeed they do so here too. But this particular killing needs to be condemned for its stupidity more than anything else.
rummuser’s last blog post..The Death Penalty
Corky, the inbreeding scares me.
You mention three days…
Again things are different in Ireland:-
Couples wishing to marry in Ireland must give at least 3 months notice to the registrar of their intent to marry. This notification is made to the Registrar of Marriages in the district where you intend to marry and does not have to be made in person.
The following residency requirements apply:
* You must reside in the area in which you wish to marry for at least 7 consecutive days
* Following the 7 days residency there is a 21 day waiting period during which you cannot marry
* Your marriage can take place at any time between 21 days and one calendar year after the last day of the period of residency.
Both parties to the wedding need to comply with the residency requirement. Before you begin the 7 day residency period you must present yourself in person to the local registrar.
Grannymar’s last blog post..Food Monday ~ No Cook Fudge Fingers
Rummy (as Gail calls you) -
How long has abortion been legal in India? I am amazed that there is no push back from the religious groups. This has been an issue in the US ever since I can remember. The religious groups there don’t consider abortion “murder” like they do here?
Even though you people are using my name– I’m going fishin, instead of just a wishing– this is “heavy stuff”!
Grannymar, Rummy ane Gail (such cool names),
It is so interesting to learn about the things that go on in other countries. The good old U.S. is really a young country and I’m sorry to say, very, very, much behind the UK and Europe in a lot of ways. We are quick to help and then, quick to condemn if someone does something that is not just the way we do it. We are naive….some more than others and I think we still have a lot to learn. Unfortunately, some of us are going to have to learn pretty quickly because time stops for no one. So much to do, so little time. I’ll bet I’ve fished in some of the same lakes you have Gail and enjoyed nearly every minute of it.
I wish you all well.
Corky
Abortion in India has been legal since 1971 and there are about 11 million abortions performed per year. Legalizing abortion has not ensured its accessibility to the poor nor been an effective method for curtailing population growth. Legal abortion was introduced in 1971, when concern about burgeoning population growth became an issue for India. Although abortion is legal, it is estimated that four million Indian women a year still resort to illegal abortions because of social taboos, misconceptions about the law, and the lack of skilled practitioners and medical facilities.
The above details are from Wikipedia. There has been no backlash from any religious groups because of one reason. The Muslims do not go in for abortions or at least that is the popular perception. They do not practice any form of family planning any way, as proved time and again by the statistics provided at the time of census taking. Christians have taken to family planning as have the Hindus and other religions and there is always the problem of female foeticide, quite popular in some communities as infanticide has become unpopular.
Yes, it is considered murder, and I personally am against it. I would however not prevent someone from opting for it when she does not want the pregnancy to proceed to its natural outcome. If that person was say a daughter of mine, I would persuade her to have the child, if she did not agree, I would support her decision and would not kill the doctor who performs the abortion.
rummuser’s last blog post..The Death Penalty
Ramana, thanks for giving us such a serious, principled consideration of the subject – much as I tried to do on your blog. I appreciate it deeply, my man, but I want my mother to comment on what you have had to say. As I told her on the phone, this is her post.
Rummy -
Thanks so much for taking the time – I find that very interesting! Good to share our perspectives!
“I’ll bet I’ve fished in some of the same lakes you have Gail and enjoyed nearly every minute of it.
Corky”
No Way! Gail lives in Australia. It’s a small world but…
BHB,
I’ll bet you are right. I have probably not fished in Gail’s lakes but I can wish I had, can’t I? Australia is a place that I have always wanted to visit but the Hawaiian Islands are as far as I’ve ever gotten. Maybe in my next life I’ll make it…..we’ll see.
My uncle was in Australia during WW11 on R&R and told me all about what he saw while there which made me yearn for the down under.
I hope I never lose the ability to dream.
Corky
Rummy,
Thank you so much for the explanations about the abortion situation in India. We live in such a sheltered environment that we really do not know what goes on in the next state (unless we happen to go there or have relatives or friends that live there) and it is good to get the news from the horses mouth…….as they say in Kansas and don’t ask me why they say that, lol.
I’m a bit slow when it comes to this blog stuff so you all will have to just put up with me until I learn what I’m supposed to answer (or ask)…..or I’m asked to please not write any more.
I really do enjoy what all of you have to say.
Corky
Corky, you have the full liberty to call me a horse. I have been called worse, and if Conrad would have his way, he would prefer to call me a cousin of a horse!
Yes, the tendency is to stay close to our individual ground zeroes, as my friend Jerry Davich called in his blog about which I had posted a long time ago. You might like to have a look at http://rummuser.com/?p=687
With the advent of blogging, one is learning more about the world and people outside one’s own patch and I for one am thoroughly enjoying the experience.
Having said all that, and having visited the USA, I just cannot resist the temptation to add just a little more. The newspapers here in India, cover a number of news items from and about the USA and the West. American media, sadly does not do so. The only Western country where some international coverage is visible is the UK.
I think that this is what is now being repaired by the blog world.
rummuser’s last blog post..An open letter to President Obama
Rummy,
You are so right on everything I’ve seen that you have written. I think Conrad has a very good “club” with very special members contributing what they know and what they think they know about many different subjects. If you never climb the hill, you will never see what is on the other side and many of our journalists haven’t learned how to climb just yet. If the newspaper people keep on, they will find themselves wiped out by the internet then where will we get the paper to put in the bottom of the bird cage?
I check this machine out as I do little basement chores such as defrosting the fridge that sits at the end of Joe’s bar, etc. I may just have a glass of wine to finish off both jobs, lol. I enjoy a sweet white wine…..red is better for the heart but gives me migraines.
I wish you a good weekend.
Corky