Leveraged Intelligence

Happy 50th Barbie

My sister sent this to me to make the situation a bit more reality based.

And Jean Browman has requested an aging Superman, so I give you:

the aging superman.  He’s done with us hassling him.

Like a retired cop, he just wants to curl up with his favorite pastry and let the world take care of its own problems for awhile…

Surprise, It’s Your Birthday!!!

Just when she thought she could hide out and avoid anyone finding out, her brother comes to the embarrassing rescue and tells the whole world:

It’s Viki Horan’s Birthday!!!

We have lost track, but her age is somewhere in the early 20’s.  Or, was that the decade in which you were born…

Happy Birthday, Sit!  Join in gang!!!

What a Contradictory System

My sister sent this to me today and asked that I post it for your consideration.  I’ll let her simple and direct statement speak for itself:

I have waited for thirty years for my husband to seek treatment for his drug and alcohol addiction.  He finally committed a criminal act that will require him to get treatment; however, in looking at  my insurance coverage I find that treatment that would have otherwise been covered by my plan will not be covered because it was court ordered.  Of course, a primary problem with addiction, as well as many other mental illnesses, is that the patient is in denial, and will not seek treatment.

Anyone else see the irony in this situation?

The privacy acts written to protect the patients are doing unbelievable damage to the mentally ill.  They tie the hands of the only people who really know what’s going on by not allowing them to talk to those treating the mentally ill without a release.  Fat chance!

What do you have to say to her?  I know that similar stories probably abound…

Powerlessness and Rage

My sister, Viki Horan, is a keen observer and analyst.  She makes a point well worth consideration this morning:

Ramana Rajgopaul commented under the Morality and the Mob Mentality entry that, “Usually, simmering anger and discontent due to frequent events of similar nature lead to such situations (riots).”  I agree wholeheartedly, but would like to add another component … the inability to control one’s environment.

Years ago I went to a seminar that addressed, among other things, workplace stress.  One of the speakers talked about an experiment involving two rats.  Both were in identical environments, with one exception.  Any time the first rat used the feeder, an electrical shock would go through the floor of both rats’ cages.  It didn’t take long for the first rat to figure out what was causing the shocks, so he knew it was coming.  The other rat had no idea why this was happening, let alone when it would happen.  The first rat thrived.  The second rat got ulcers and died.  What was the difference?  The second rat couldn’t control his environment.

It is my belief that much of the anger and frustration leading to many horrific acts are a reaction to man’s inability to influence things directly impacting him.  I further believe that there is a major disconnect between the average citizen and the leaders making the decisions that impact their lives on a daily basis.  This disconnect leads to the feeling of helplessness and futility that leads to the “simmering anger” that leads to the horrific acts.

Why is there a disconnect?  I think many of our leaders suffer from what I refer to as the Marie Antoinette Syndrome … The people have no bread?  Let them eat cake!  Those in power are so removed from the challenges of the day-to-day existence of ordinary people, they are ill-equipped to make decisions on their behalf.  They cannot empathize.

A salary of $11.50 an hour, considered to be a good starting salary in my neck of the woods, is approximately $24,000 annually, or $2,000 a month.  Let’s take out 25% for taxes, parking, etc., leaving $1500 a month.  Let’s also say that this is a single woman with two kids and an ex who can’t/won’t pay child support, or the amount is so small that it makes no real impact.  Please budget the $1500 for this woman.  Despite her desire to refrain from ‘accepting charity’ in the form of Food Stamps, the School Lunch Program, etc., does she have any other way of making it, let alone contributing money to a retirement fund?  These are the entitlement programs that many legislators object to.  They’ve never been in this woman’s situation, nor is there much chance that they ever will be.  They cannot empathize.

Let’s take this one step further and say that my hypothetical woman gets a 2% raise, $480 a year, or $30 a month if you take out the taxes, parking, etc.  Wow!  Now that’s a real chunk of change.  Wonder how on earth she’ll decide to spend all that extra money?  Setting the sarcasm aside, she now makes $24, 480 annually.  Now we’ll look at the leaders who are making, let’s say for the sake of argument, $150,000 annually.  They also get a 2% raise, but for them this equates to $3,000 annually, or around $150 a month after all the deductions.  (By the way, the leaders don’t need to worry about retirement funds because they’ve already voted themselves a good plan.  In addition, the gap between what the woman makes and what the leaders make just increased by $2,520, and each year the gap between the haves and the have-nots will widen further.)  I’m sure that $150 seems like a drop in the bucket to our leaders, but it would be a Godsend to my hypothetical woman. They cannot empathize.

Finally, I’ll refer to an article addressing the difficult economic times we are enduring.  It said that people were cutting back on expenses by shopping at places like Walmart and K-Mart.  What they failed to mention is that my hypothetical woman is already shopping at Walmart and K-Mart just to get from paycheck to paycheck.  How on earth is she supposed to cut expenses??  I guess she could always eat cake.

Photo at Tiger Direct

Our Family Debates…and Where They Lead

My sister, Viki Horan, unfolds a bit more of her inner process and growth all the time.  This blog is becoming as educational to me as to anyone.  Growth is such a good thing – and takes a lot of courage!

It seems like only yesterday, at the tender age of 25, that I knew everything there was to know about everything.  The world was black and white, there was only one right way, and it was mine!  When my “vast and indisputable knowledge” ran smack dab into other perspectives, particularly from my mom and dad, I chalked it up to outmoded thinking or just plain ignorance on their part because they hadn’t experienced the things I had.  Wow!  Talk about ignorance, not to mention just a pinch of arrogance!

My father loved a good, sometimes heated debate.  He would take any side, as long as he could find somebody to take the other, and that was usually my brother.  I absolutely hated those debates, and avoided them at all costs.  I thought at the time it was because I hated conflict, but it took me many, many years to discover that the real reason I hated those debates is because they demanded critical thinking.  Now I ask you . . . what possible good could critical thinking be when everything was black and white?  Two plus two is four, and always will be, so why discuss it? 

Since my brother was such a willing player in these discussions, my dad would rarely pull me in.  But, after my brother moved to San Francisco, and I was the only available target, he got me!  The topic up for debate today was abortion and capital punishment.  I was staunchly opposed to abortion and I tried to avoid thoughts about capital punishment.    Dad, on the other hand, approved of abortion, and disapproved of capital punishment.  Now I ask you, how is killing a fetus okay, but killing someone who has done something really terrible to someone else wrong?  His equation was two plus two equals six as far as I was concerned. 

His position was that the fetus was not alive until it was viable on its own.  My position was that since he had never felt a four-month fetus move inside him, he wasn’t in a position to make that determination.  I had adequately matured at that point in my life to contain my emotions somewhat, and finally said that we would just have to agree to disagree. 

But when I was “older,” my youngest daughter thought she was in the very early stages of pregnancy.  It was at a time when she was battling various addictions, and had already abandoned her first child . . . a very painful experience for all of us, but especially for that beautiful child.  The biological father of the current pregnancy was definitely not parental material, and I was not in a position emotionally or financially to gain custody of the baby.  It appeared to me, at that particular time, that abortion was the best solution.

While I never did have to make that terrible decision, I did come to believe that I don’t have the right to make this decision for others, and neither do I have the right to judge those who do.  As for capital punishment, I’m still avoiding that issue. 

I have learned, though, that two plus two does, indeed, sometimes equal six . . . and I have so much more to learn.

Is Nothing Considered Rude Anymore?

My sister, Viki, has a few things to say on the matter:

An article I read this morning reminded me of one of my favorite movies, "The Sixth Sense".  If you’ve seen or heard about it, you know that you really need to pay attention to the little things, and even then you probably won’t figure out out what’s happening until it’s revealed at the end of the movie.  It’s one of the few movies I’ve gone to the theater to watch in ‘recent’ years, and well into the movie, riveted to my seat, I heard a cell phone ring.  Not only did it ring, but the recipient answered the call, and we all found out it was the babysitter.  We watched the woman walk in front of everyone as she continued with the call while exiting the theater.  Not having a rewind button, that part of the movie was lost. 

Getting back to the article, it was about a man who got ticked because the family in front of him kept talking during a movie.  He asked them to be quiet, and an argument ensued.  He promptly threw popcorn on the son, and shot the father.  While I wouldn’t suggest this type of action by anyone, the guy with the gun certainly did make a point.  In general, whether in a theater or at Walmart, people seem to lack consideration for other people.

In the ‘olden days’, if you went to a movie theater, people had a basic respect for others watching the movie.  They didn’t bring their kids to a movie clearly meant for adults, and they whispered if they spoke at all.  Maybe folks are so accustomed to watching movies at home, they’re bringing that behavior to the theater, but I do a lot of things while I’m watching a movie at home that I wouldn’t think of doing in a theater.  It would be just plain rude, not to mention embarrassing !  I’ll skip the details.

And, no wonder people do so much shopping online.  I now refer to shopping at Walmart as my trip to hell.  People don’t smile, they stand in the middle of aisles, they push their way through, they talk on their cell phones, etc., etc.  I nearly have a panic attack by the time I’m out the door.  Just a little consideration would make the experience ever so much more enjoyable.

Now, just so you don’t think I’m being a little uppity, I guess I should share another story.  My husband and I went with our adult daughter Amy to see "What Lies Beneath", another rather intense movie.  My husband managed to fall asleep.  Totally oblivious to the rest of the world, he started snoring and relieving himself of some gastrointestinal issues.  After unsuccessfully keeping him awake, Amy and I moved to different seats.  Guess we should have taken my husband home, but . . . yup, you guessed it, a little consideration would have really been appreciated that day!

A Sister Worth Listening To

My sister and I don’t see the world through the same eyes.  Good!  She’s a bright woman and I always learn from her perspective.