Leveraged Intelligence

CNN Live Chat Stream Available

I just put the entire CNN live chat stream – the first time people have ever chatted live on CNN during the show, commenting on what was in the program – in a page on this blog.

If you have trouble sleeping, this will cure it.  However, jump into the middle of it and you will find that two men of very different generations were finding some pretty passionate areas of common interest while G20 session riots were going on in London.

It is at this location.

How to Write a Conversational Blog… And Why!

This blog entry was submitted for GL Hoffman’s blog What Would Dad Say as a guest entry.  Since it hits so close to home here, I wanted to allow my regular readers an opportunity to comment – so I decided to submit it over here also for my readers to enjoy and comment on.  I would love to see you go over to GL’s joint, too.  Maybe tip him a quarter for a good cuppa Joe…

It’s not a generational thing. I use a cup of coffee as the icon to represent my blog specifically because of its tradition as conversational catalyst. As you can see above, younger people at the modern Café Babel in Seattle participate. Older participants at Manistee Bakery & Deli in Manistee, Michigan enjoy it. Starbucks practically recreates living rooms with couches and coffee tables at many outlets. Coffee shops go back further than I do – and I go back further than I ever have before!

So, what’s the attraction? Is it the coffee? Well, in part, but I’ve tasted some pretty rasty coffee at some of the old greasy spoon coffee shops where I’ve spent time with friends – yet we returned. Is it the ambience? Closer. Is it the friendship? Now we’re getting hot! Wait, I’m getting it…it’s the conversation between friends. Sometimes, it’s not coffee at all. Sometimes, it’s beer. Sometimes, it’s tea and sushi. But, it’s always conversation! And, it’s always friends. The long running TV comedy Cheers was fully based on it without ever depleting the topic pool. Seinfeld milked it forever and the meeting place was either Jerry’s apartment or the coffee shop. Friends went to Central Perk.

So, we’ve got two elements essential so far. You need friends and you need a conversation. But, bigger than the elephant in the room is the room itself. You need that traditional meeting place. That’s where the Conversational Blog comes in, a place where people keep returning to converse on different topics, to reminisce about their days and developments of their lives. To reflect. To encourage one another. And, what’s the beverage of choice that everyone sips from? The Blog Post itself. It is the daily special offered by the proprietor. Yet, though every blog has offerings and though many of them are extremely interesting, some of them yield very little conversation. Even some blogs with a huge amount of traffic! Why?

I have some ideas and part of the weight behind them is because there is so much conversation on my blog. I offer fewer ideas about generating traffic, because my traffic counts aren’t very high – though the people that do visit tend to read multiple entries. Also, I have to offer the true humility of a guy who’s only been blogging for two months. But, I get conversation and I think these may be some of the fundamental reasons behind that:

• Daily offerings are a surprise. I don’t know what I’m going to write about any more than the readers.
• I try to always enjoy the writing and have fun. Fun doesn’t preclude serious reflection and thought. Fun doesn’t preclude research. But, fun translates to a light touch, to brightness and to passion!
• I always include a piece of myself in the writing. Note this requirement, because I’ll return to the importance of this shortly.
• After publishing the post, I genuinely look forward to the responses. Some writers don’t invite response and are HUGELY successful, like The Magnificent Bastard and Seth Godin. They are brilliant and I love to read their blogs. I think about their blogs. But…we aren’t conversing. They have so much traffic, I don’t think they could and they don’t even allow comments. They are more like great leaders speaking to the masses and I have huge respect for what they do. It just isn’t what I do.
• When the responses start, I don’t stand behind the counter. I go to the table and sit down with the guests. I drink with them and listen to their stories. And, this is probably the most important part: I respond to each and every comment individually. My responses aren’t sound-bite knockoffs, they are often multiple paragraphs. I respond like I would were we face-to-face over a cup of coffee.

The key to understanding what to respond to is to realize what I learned working with mentally ill children, that every statement a person makes is autobiographical. What they say about my post is only peripherally related to my post. It is a statement of themselves, of their hearts, of their yearnings. So, I do them the justice of listening, absorbing and responding to their individual offering of themselves with myself.

My blog leaves me vulnerable. And, because of that, it leaves me surrounded by friends. I’ll always toast that!

What’s your take? I’m listening…

The Hand Position Is Everything

Saturday evening we had a delightful get together with friends with barbecue, great desserts, good wine and a gorgeous view of the Bay.  One of the hosts was talking with me about our current economic situation.  He is a really nice guy, good businessman, more conservative politically than I am.  He knows that I am probably left of center on most issues, he is right of center on most issues and we try to find common ground.  Our conversations are like the picture below:

We always find ourselves seeking common ground and understanding, so I find myself moving right, seeking central ground.  He is moving left seeking central ground.  Where we can’t find agreement, it is not a concern and no heat is raised.  I always learn from his vantage point.

Another friend was at the party and he is most definitely not right of center, he is dead right wing.  He is VERY conservative and very vocal about it.  Without bidding, he made a provocative statement about how destructive this current administration would be and truly believes that lowering taxes is THE ANSWER, period.  Anyone seeing otherwise is uninformed and just flat wrong!  Usually, I just avoid these conversations with him – until Saturday, when I had heard enough just sitting on the sidelines.  Our conversation would be represented by the picture below:

OK, neither of us is in quite that condition and we definitely have less hair – but you get the basic idea.  The result of “conversing” with him is that I find myself not moving to the middle at all, but I end up trying to counterbalance his extremity by MOVING LEFT, not moving to common ground at all.  I suddenly BECOME the raving liberal he accuses me of.  It is the only way to express without being bowled over and discarded.

How often do we do the same things to one another in daily dealings?  Does an extremist generate the atmosphere in which his own views of others are met?  Does a moderate do the same?

If I have deeply grounded expertise in a subject, I am far less vulnerable to the second situation.  It’s like being so strong that arm wrestling isn’t really an alternative, since I can calmly hold the other person’s aggression at bay without having to distort my position.  But, when I’m dealing with what is basically my opinion in an area fairly ambiguous to begin with, I am more vulnerable to the second scenario.  I think I need to read the Dalai Lama’s tweets on Twitter to remind myself how to calm down when confronted in this manner.

Readers, what kinds of exchanges are you finding yourselves engaged in during these times that try our patience and challenge our security?  Are you staying with those of the same views, limiting learning opportunities, but staying safe?  Are you pushing others to extremity and then going, “See, I knew this was how you were!”?  Or, are you finding people of different stripes who are like-minded in the effort to seek better understanding between yourselves?

I like my views challenged.  I hate to have my views attacked in an effort to discard them.  It seems like the difference is one of respect.

You Call This a Conversation??

Conversation is an art that is a joy to share- usually.  But, have you ever had that feeling when trying to talk with someone that you are trains on two different tracks, riding through the same part of the country, but destined to never connect.  Or that you  have been assigned the roll of listener, because the other person is broadcasting and filling all available space.  Maybe the most difficult is the rare person that just looks at you expectantly, as though you should be saying more, but never offering you a hook to hang your hat on.

Once, when I was at a party at a relative’s house, I met his girlfriend’s father for the first time.  He seemed pleasant enough, bright and engaging, interested in my perspectives on certain issues, asking me my views.  Then, suddenly, out of the blue, he sprang!  He was on me with a vengeance, laying logical traps, showing me the inconsistencies of my positions, cutting me off half way through any comment I had.  You know, I have to admit to everyone reading this that, “No, I haven’t read the entire American Constitution in detail and no, I can’t tell you what the XYZ Amendment says or how it was initiated.”  When I finally politely, but firmly, informed him that I was really looking forward to meeting and socializing with some new people, he told me that was typical.  I thought to myself that with most of the people he met, it probably was quite typical.

I was later informed that he was like that with everyone.  He felt it was his duty to teach people and show them better ways.  In another context, it might have been tolerable and even enjoyable.  I’m certain I would have learned.  Had his attitude and approach been different, I know I would have learned.  Had he allowed himself to, I’m certain he would have learned, also.  But, under those circumstances, he violated an unwritten code of conduct that most people understand.  It’s along the lines of an unwritten, but understood social contract that says that unless this is a nudist colony, we will consider it rude for you to take your clothes off here and now!

How are you at conversation?  What do you value the most in a good conversation?  Do you usually seek something similar from each conversation – or is it truly different for every person you meet and every occasion?  Are your conversations usually with like-minded people or do you like being challenged and broadened by other points of view?

I’d love to converse with you on this.  I’m listening…

Picture of Arguing Eggheads – I think that may be the name –

at University of California at Davis.  Yours truly is mediating.